#ArmyOfMeJLG

“Freeing yourself was one thing, claiming ownership of that freed self was another.” 
-Toni Morrison, Beloved
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That's it. 

I stared at my face for a month of daily art.  Self portraits are not for the weak...'cause you start to notice EVERYTHING. 

Every lapse in symmetry (hello slanted lip!), every freckle and mark (I actually have a 'beauty mark', and that is kinda cool...the dark spots that are starting to creep in now that I am forty...not so much)

Every.

Thing.

 ​Towards the end of my series I made a short trip back to NC over my spring break.  I was getting sick, and I wasn't there long...typical me, I pushed myself maybe a little too much, but in the end I got to visit with folks, and it was worth it. 

Before I left I took a photo in the reflection of the  (above)  I know that John and Jennifer have remodeled the bathroom over the years, but the actual mirror is the same one that I looked at myself in when I was in high school- well over 20 years ago.

So much has changed, but so much is the same.  Still just me, with my imperfections and all the things that make me...well, ME.

When I started doing the series this month I was thinking I would branch out into other media, but I ended up sticking with the conte crayon and watercolor for the whole month.

Some pieces have a darker feel due to my heavy handed application of the black line, some are wispy and light.  Each day I approached the piece different, just like each day you make the decision to wake up and accept who you are, and to be your best self.

Some folks commented that they weren't used to seeing pictures of me without a smile.  I'm weird like that.  I have a quiet, introverted side that is equally as important to me as  my louder, more extroverted self.  I need the calm to recharge.  I was an only child for nine years before my sister Morgan came along, and as a kid I learned to play by myself, drawing and coloring, reading, playing with my Barbies.  I have retained the independent spirit I had as a child.

I am not always the girl who smiles.  I have been through so much...much more that my grin shows.  When I think about all that has happened I wonder how I came out to have a somewhat normal adult life...but it is because I chose to accept my flaws, to celebrate what is good about me, and not to be diminished by the bad things that have happened to me in my life...and there has been darkness for sure.

So...here is the series.  It's just me, Jenny. 
An 'Army of Me
...'cause like my girl Ani said, 'I always wanted to be commander in chief of my one woman army'.

And I am.
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